i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
