The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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