Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
