It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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