new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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