i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
