i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
