What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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