Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
