I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
