Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
