first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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