I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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