you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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