I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
