But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
