There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
