He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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