i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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