I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's official drugs can't kill me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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