found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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