i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just found puke in my bra..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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