Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
