Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
