so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
