p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
