My cat gives me a boner
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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