He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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