You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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