Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
