STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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