I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
