I wanna bring you to show and tell
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
