I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
