well you can't waste a boner
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
