There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
