I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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