Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
