a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
