i just had sex bonerless
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
