my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
