Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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