Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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