News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
