i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
