I'm so fucking centered right now
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
