So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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