so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
