It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm at about main and main street
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
