I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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