my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
