Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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