That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize