he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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