Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize