ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
