My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Terrible idea I love it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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