he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
