batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize