i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
