Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
