You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
