I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
