You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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