Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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