I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i have two assholes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
