Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize