Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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